Sleep Well, Mr. Romero …

Now that I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on it, I wanted to get some thoughts down on George Romero. How I got into his work, what it’s meant to me & why this hits harder than other Director’s deaths have.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I got into Horror, but it was a gradual progression from an interest in Science Fiction. I remember taking out Sci-Fi movie books from the library & watching old gems with my Father on Saturday Night at the Movies (Elwy Yost was the Host with the Most), and like most kids, I was into aliens and the idea of life (or afterlife) that we cannot see, but believe in all the same.

I always wanted to impress / please my Father with great gifts for his October birthday (Halloween Month FTW), but he hasn’t always been the easiest to shop for (that said, I’ve been on a roll the past few years). I knew he liked old black and white movies, and we’d enjoyed watching stuff like Bride of Frankenstein & The Creature from the Black Lagoon together, so you can imagine my excitement when I read about a movie called “Night of the Living Dead”. It was apparently a Classic (we always had a Leonard Maltin Movie Guide in the house), it was Old & it was Black and White, how could it fail ??

I bought him a double VHS release, which included a second tape of “Special Features” (what a time to be alive). It even had a fold out cover with an essay on the film itself. Surely I had knocked it out of the park with this gift ! I can imagine what was going through his head when he opened up that gift, seeing my face beaming and excitedly waiting to watch it with him. I remember showing the tape of Features to my friends, and we all enjoyed the original trailer, with it’s over the top narration and classic use of musical cue …

Having been internally convinced that I’d gotten the perfect gift, you can imagine my delight when Mr. Maltin let me know that there was not only one, but TWO sequels to NOTLD ! I immediately hatched a plan to get him the second film for his next birthday, then to complete the trilogy on the birthday after that. Once again, I tracked down a double VHS (with fold out cover) at Music World (RIP), and I was EXTRA excited to give him his gift that year.

Watching him open that gift, I couldn’t help but sense (even at a young age) that he wasn’t nearly as thrilled to receive it as I was to give it. But how ? Surely he had loved the previous film, it was old and in black & white ! Still, I was excited to watch this new film with him, and I bided my time as it sat unopened on or VHS shelf, week after week. Eventually I broke down and became determined to watch the film, with or without him. Even though he hadn’t cracked open the plastic yet, I was determined to find a way …

When I was growing up, we ran a year round campground / resort in cottage country. The year I gave him DOTD, I was probably around 12 or so. My parents very rarely got to go out for non-family dinners, and since I was finally old enough to look after the place (after close) for a few hours, they left me alone on a cold January night, with my dog … and an unguarded VHS copy of Dawn of the Dead ! After I was sure they were gone, I snaked the movie off the shelf (where it had lived for months) and I got a knife and went to work, slooooowly cutting enough of the plastic that would allow for me to slip the main tape out of the box.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I’d given him WEEKS to open / watch it with me, and my little heart just couldn’t wait any longer. I popped the tape in and let the movie wash over me. That is, until about halfway through, when I heard the unmistakable “crunch, crunch” sound of two people walking through the snow, in our backyard, in the middle of nowhere, with no family members anywhere nearby, and me alone, watching a scary movie, with no curtains drawn on the back window. I sat there, paralyzed, unsure what to do first. They KNEW someone was home, as I hadn’t closed the curtains. But we lived in the middle of nowhere, in the dead (cough) of winter. Who COULD it be ??

I slowly reached for the remote and shut the movie off, then I heard a slow knock on the sliding glass door on our back deck. Still terrified, I walked over to the back room and turned on the porch light. Standing on our deck were two HUGE men, dressed in large winter jackets and staring at me. I knew they wouldn’t just go away, but I had no weapon, apart from a part Lab / part Border Collie named Bart. I reluctantly walked towards the door, unlocked it and slid it open a few inches. It turned out to be two russian men who had walked across the lake, seen our lights, then come to see if we had any liqour for them, to “warm them up”.

Thinking quickly (and having seen many PSA’s, thanks Bert and Gert !), I told them my Father was in the shower, but that I would go and check with him. My dog was growling the entire time, which was honestly my only consolation for the intense fear of the situation. I closed the door, went to the kitchen and considered my options. I ended up waiting a few minutes, then going back and telling them that my Father doesn’t drink … but that I was pretty sure that the (rival) resort down the road had plenty of alcohol (I’m not proud, but it worked). I closed and locked the door, shut off the light and waited. They didn’t move for a minute, but gradually the “crunch, crunch” of them walking away put me at ease, and 10 minutes later, I resumed the film.

In watching that film, I soon came to realize that my Father had NEVER been a fan of Horror, and most likely never knew how to let me down easy. I had been able to slip the tape back into it’s case, and “skillfully” add some scotch tape to the cut area (genius), and shockingly, it NEVER came up. Almost as if he never touched that movie again after setting it up on it’s shelf, where it beckoned to me all those months. This revelation lead to me purchasing the third film, Day of the Dead, but not for my Father this time … but for myself.

It pleases me that my love of the Father of Zombies will always be linked to my own Father, even if he was never a fan of the man’s films himself. He always respected my love of Horror, even if it’s not a genre he could ever love himself. As I grew older and discovered other Romero gems like Martin, Creepshow & The Crazies, I grew to appreciate what an indelible mark he had left on the genre. Not dissimilar to the way my Father had helped shape me into the man that now types these very words.

In the years that have passed since that fateful NOTLD gift, I have seen literally countless Horror films, but my absolute favourite is (and always will be) Creepshow. As a huge fan of 50’s Horror Comics, Romero (and King) absolutely nailed the tone, and I love everything about that film. I’m pleased to have seen it on the big screen, though dismayed to say I passed on a chance to see it again on the big screen this year, with Romero in attendance. That said, I did see Night of the Living Dead on the big screen for the first time this year, and it was a surreal mix of emotions, almost equal to those I’m experiencing now.

It’s been said of Romero that he was unbelievably kind and humble, grateful to have touched so many souls with an oeuvre that is the envy of the average filmmaker. He shaped a genre that still thrills us today, with ideas and films that will live forever, even if the man himself could not. I’m sad I never got to meet him, but through a love for his films and his spirit, and through the eyes of so many others, I feel like I knew him very well.

The outpouring of grief and kind words seen in the past 24 hours is truly inspiring, and speaks well to the imprint left by this man. George was larger than life, larger than the afterlife even. As a fan of the Remakes of NOTLD, DOTD and The Crazies, it’s astounding to me that even re-imaginings of his work can work on different levels, another testament to his genius. While he never got all that was coming to him, financially AND credit wise, his legend will only grow from here on out, and I look forward to remembering the man and his work.

To George A Romero, the creator of the best birthday presents a boy could want …

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Lazron’s 2016 October Horrorthon

Greetings All !! It’s my favourite time of year again, the month everyone watches Horror films as often as I do throughout the other 11 months !

As you probably know, I like to pick 31 Horror films to watch in October, generally stuff I’ve been wanting to see, but haven’t been able to get to till now. Various recommendations from Friends or Websites, boiled down to a concise 31 !

This year features some real gems, including 3 I’ll be seeing theatrically, thanks to the Mayfair Theatre (Phantasm, Phantasm 5, I Drink Your Blood), 2 that were meant to come out next year (In the Deep, The Blackcoats Daughter) & 1 mashup of 2 films that I cut together for fun, since both films took place on the same night anyway (Halloween I+II). In addition, 4 of these selections will actually be 2 Double Bills, as I have a weekly Double Bill event with Friends (we alternate selections week by week) and had to plan around that.

We’ve also got a Prequel to a Classic (The Thing), a Remake of a Classic (Carnival of Souls), a Sequel to a Cult Classic (Stake Land 2), the Final Chapter of a popular Franchise (REC 4), a Sequel to a Smash Hit (The Conjuring 2), the Original of a film that lead to 3 American Versions (Pulse) & the First Film by the creators of Stranger Things (Hidden).

This year has a lot more Modern films than usual (23 of 31 are from 2013 onward, only 7 are pre-2000) which should please my wife, as she is NOT the biggest fan of old school, low budget schlock (understandably so). I’ll do my best to upload daily reviews as I go, but you know what they say about the Best Laid Plans.

Anyway, watch along with me (or don’t), be inspired (or don’t) & have an awesome October (required) !!

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1) In the Deep (47 Meters Down) (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2932536/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

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“Two sisters on Mexican vacation are trapped in a shark observation cage at the bottom of the ocean, with oxygen running low and great whites circling nearby, they have less than an hour of air left to figure out how to get to the surface.”

2) Hidden (2015)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2131532/?ref_=nv_sr_2

hidden

“A family takes refuge in a fallout shelter to avoid a dangerous outbreak.”

3) The Pact (2012)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2040560/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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“As a woman struggles to come to grips with her past in the wake of her mother’s death and the disappearance of her sister, an unsettling presence emerges in her childhood home.”

4) Yellowbrickroad (2010)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1398428/?ref_=nv_sr_3

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“1940: the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire walked up a winding mountain trail, leaving everything behind. 2008: the first official expedition into the wilderness attempts to solve the mystery of the lost citizens of Friar.”

5) REC 4 (2014)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1649443/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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“An ill-fated television reporter is rescued and sent on a voyage across the ocean, but she is followed by the deadly virus that has plagued her and numerous others.”

6) The Thing (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0905372/?ref_=nv_sr_3

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“At an Antarctica research site, the discovery of an alien craft leads to a confrontation between graduate student Kate Lloyd and scientist Dr. Sander Halvorson.”

7) Phantasm 5 (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3627704/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“The final installment of the long-running Phantasm series.”

8) Hush (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5022702/?ref_=nv_sr_1

mv5bowq4otdlodqtmdc3yy00mgvmlwexyjutogi0yjg4mdqzndnhxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynjizmzkymzk-_v1_sy1000_cr006751000_al_

“A deaf writer who retreated into the woods to live a solitary life must fight for her life in silence when a masked killer appears at her window.”

9) Carnival of Souls (1962)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055830/?ref_=nv_sr_2

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“After a traumatic accident, a woman becomes drawn to a mysterious abandoned carnival.”

10) Carnival of Souls (1998)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120627/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

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“A young girl witnesses the brutal rape and murder of her mother by a circus clown and begins to have nightmares when the carnival comes back to town when she is an adult.”

11) 31 (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3835080/?ref_=nv_sr_1

mv5bnte0ntmznje0nv5bml5banbnxkftztgwmzm4ntm3ote-_v1_

“Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.”

12) Extinction (2015)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3467412/?ref_=nv_sr_2

mv5bmtyzmziymtq3n15bml5banbnxkftztgwntmzntawnje-_v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

“And suddenly, overnight, the world came to a halt. Two men, two survivors, one kid, and hatred that separates them. A place forgotten by everyone, including the creatures that inhabit the Earth… until now.”

13) They Look Like People (2015)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4105970/?ref_=nv_sr_1

mv5bmtk0oda1mzy3nf5bml5banbnxkftztgwmjq0nzcynde-_v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

“Suspecting that people around him are turning into evil creatures, a troubled man questions whether to protect his only friend from an impending war, or from himself.”

14) Pulse (Kairo) (2001)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286751/?ref_=nv_sr_2

mv5bmmjhogvmymmtotc4ms00odfhlweynmytyzewzgq4nzzjmdc1xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtqxnzmzndi-_v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

“Two groups of people discover evidence that suggests spirits may be trying to invade the human world through the Internet.”

15) Abattoir (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480285/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“An investigative reporter teams up with a Police officer to solve the mystery of why a seemingly good man murdered her sister’s family.”

16) Blood Punch (2014)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2825230/?ref_=nv_sr_1

mv5bmtuwnzgwmjkzov5bml5banbnxkftztgwmzy0mdu1nje-_v1_sy1000_cr006581000_al_

“A young man is lured into a dangerous love triangle that begins to take a series of shocking and grisly supernatural turns.”

17) Stake Land 2 (The Stakelander) (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5843670/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

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“When his home of New Eden is destroyed by a revitalized Brotherhood and its new Vamp leader, Martin finds himself alone in the badlands of America with only the distant memory of his mentor and legendary vampire hunter, Mister, to guide him.”

18) The Neon Demon (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1974419/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.”

19) The Blackcoats Daughter (February) (2015)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3286052/?ref_=nv_sr_1

mv5bmty2ntq3nteznf5bml5banbnxkftztgwmza0mzy1ote-_v1_sy1000_cr006741000_al_

“Two terrified girls must battle a mysterious evil force when they get left behind at their boarding school over winter break in this chilling and suspenseful horror film.”

20) Intruders (Shut In) (2015)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4009278/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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“Anna suffers from agoraphobia so crippling that when a trio of criminals break into her house, she cannot bring herself to flee. But what the intruders don’t realize is that agoraphobia is not her only problem.”

21) Under the Skin (2013)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1441395/?ref_=nv_sr_2

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“A mysterious woman seduces lonely men in the evening hours in Scotland. Events lead her to begin a process of self-discovery.”

22) The Conjuring 2 (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3065204/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by a malicious spirit.”

23) I Drink Your Blood (Remastered) (1970)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067229/?ref_=nv_sr_1

i-drink-your-blood-images-352ded4f-eb9b-45e2-b957-5b33acb6e8b

“A group of hippies wreak havoc on a small town and a young boy, whose grandfather and sister were attacked by them, decides to get even, with deadly results.”

24) The Class of 1999 (1990)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099277/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“Robot teachers have been secretly placed in the schools where the students have run riot. The teachers do a good job of controlling the unruly youngsters, until they go too far and some students get suspicious.”

25) 100 Bloody Acres (2012)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2290065/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“Reg and Lindsay run an organic fertiliser business. They need a fresh supply of their “secret ingredient” to process through the meat grinder. Reg comes across two guys and a girl with a broken-down vehicle on their way to a music festival.”

26) Lights Out (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4786282/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“When her little brother, Martin, experiences the same events that once tested her sanity, Rebecca works to unlock the truth behind the terror, which brings her face to face with an entity that has an attachment to their mother, Sophie.”

27) Phantasm (Remastered) (1979)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079714/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“A teenage boy and his friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known only as the Tall Man, who keeps a lethal arsenal of terrible weapons with him.”

28) Carnage Park (2016)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4335650/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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“After botching an ill-conceived bank robbery in a desolate California town, two wannabe crooks flee the scene with a hostage and lead the local lawmen on a dangerous high-speed chase.”

29) The House at the End of Time (2013)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2640474/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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“Dulce is a mother of two who experiences terrifying encounters with apparitions inside her old house, a place where a tragedy occurs. Thirty years later, an elderly Dulce returns home to decipher the mystery that has tormented her for so long.”

30) Halloween I+II (Single Film Edit) (1978/81)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077651/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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“On Halloween night of 1963, six-year-old Michael Myers stabbed his sister to death. After sitting in a mental hospital for 15 years, Myers escapes and returns to Haddonfield to kill.”

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082495/?ref_=fn_al_tt_7

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“While Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis hunt for Michael Myers, a traumatized Laurie is rushed to hospital, and the serial killer is not far behind her.”

31) Halloween III (1982)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085636/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

ralf_halloween

“Kids all over America want Silver Shamrock masks for Halloween. Doctor Daniel Challis seeks to uncover a plot by Silver Shamrock owner Conal Cochran.”

Lazron’s 2015 October Horrorthon !

Well, it’s that time of year again ! The month that everyone ELSE watches as many Horror movies as I usually do every other month. It’s a wonderful time of year for many other reasons too. The changing of the leaves, Pumpkin flavoured things (mainly beer), Crisp temperatures, Halloween, etc. Some would argue it’s the best time of the year, leading up the best holiday of the year ! But most wouldn’t.

Anyway, I wanted to do my October Horrorthon a bit differently this year. Generally I pick 31 movies I’ve been meaning to see but have yet to get around to. There are still tons of those, but I’ve also amassed a pretty great collection of DVD’s & Blu Rays … Which have then never been watched. Coupled with that, my wife & I celebrated out first year of marriage a few months ago and I wanted to get her a bit more involved with things.

She’s also a Horror fan, but not so much pre-90’s or low budget (or black & white, or foreign). Many people aren’t, and she has many other wonderful traits, so it’s perfectly reasonable & to be expected. She has a pretty good track record of liking really good Horror flicks though (It Follows, Starry Eyes, The Descent, Triangle, Cheap Thrills, Oculus, Big Bad Wolves, Ginger Snaps), so it’s not like she doesn’t know what’s up.

Anyway, it occurred to me that I could combine my urge to re-watch movies I’ve bought (and never re-watched) AND my urge to expose her to great Horror she has yet to see, so I went with a half-half. 15 of my selections will be stellar Horror hand-picked by me in the hopes that she’ll also dig them. 12 others will be ones I’ve seen/bought but not revisited. As a FURTHER compromise (to myself basically) the remaining 3 will be NEW/acclaimed Horror that neither of us has seen. 1 will even be in theaters ! Horrific Date Night !!

Anyway, the final selections are listed below, for your judgement/approval/hatred. Odd numbers are for Her, even numbers are for Me, though some of my selections could have made Her list as well, so we’ll see if I can rope her into more than 16 viewings. This year is a bit unorthodox, but I think I killed it. Cough.

1) May (2002)

may-movie-poster-2002-1020201863“A lonely young woman traumatized by a difficult childhood, and her increasingly desperate attempts to connect with the people around her.”

Classic movie, and one I’m shocked wasn’t in my collection (especially since I own “Roman”. Who has “Roman” & NOT “May” ??). Easily one of the best Horror films in the past 20 years, with masterful acting & directing by McKee & Bettis. Stoked to re-watch it.

2) Deathgasm (2015)

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“Two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.”

I’ve been hearing great things about this festival darling & have had the calendar circled for weeks in anticipation (the calendar is metaphorical, I’ve circled nothing). Word is there are many laughs & much violence to be had. Colour me intrigued !

3) Attack the Block (2011)

550w_movies_attack_the_block“A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.”

Some could argue it’s more of a Sci-Fi than a Horror, but it’s pretty damn horrific to me. Despite that, it’s just an all around great film, and one I’ve not seen a second time (despite my vocabulary adoption of “Bruv” and “Fam”). Here’s hoping it still holds up. I’m also looking forward to re-watching John Boyega, now that we know he’ll be a major part of the Star Wars series in 2 short months !

4) Scarecrows (1988)

Scarecrows“Five people heist the Camp Pendleton payroll, kidnap a pilot and his daughter, who are forced to fly them to Mexico. Enroute a double cross has one of the thieves parachute with the loot into an abandoned graveyard surrounded by strange scarecrows. Two of the team jump after their loot and their former partner. Everything happens during the course of one very dark night.”

It was great to see MGM finally give this the DVD release it deserved many years ago, but even better to see Scream Factory give it some extras & an HD transfer. A somewhat uneven film (as I recall), but spectacular scarecrow effects & unnerving tension throughout makes this a worthwhile choice.

5) Some Guy Who Kills People (2011)

some-guy-who-kills-people-poster“Ken Boyd, a lonely man fresh out of the loony bin, who sets out to kill those he deems responsible for his miserable life.”

This seemed to be an Under the Radar flick for most, which is a shame because it’s quite good. Treading more along the lines of comedy, it’s not without its bloody kills as well. He acting is too notch, and the mystery & laughs (especially the interaction between the main character and his daughter) kept me involved throughout my first viewing.

6) Xtro (1982)

xtro-movie-poster-1983-1020380521“Tony’s father Sam, abducted by aliens three years earlier, returns to earth and seeks out his wife and son, but Rachel has since been living with Joe and the reunion is awkward. Joe doesn’t trust Sam, and Rachel can’t quite decide what her feelings are for her two men. Sam is not the same as when he left, and he begins affecting Tony in frightening ways.”

Now HERE’S a movie begging for an extras-packed HD release. A suitably oddball UK alien horror with an unforgettable “Woman giving birth to grown man” scene, I’m really excited to dust off this old chestnut. One I’ve not seen since my Video Store days (and probably shouldn’t have seen then, but I’ll take it).

7) Deep Red (1975)

s-l1000“A musician witnesses the murder of a famous psychic, and then teams up with a fiesty reporter to find the killer while evading attempts on their lives by the unseen killer bent on keeping a dark secret buried.”

In my opinion this is easily Argento’s best film (sorry “Juno”, I mean “Suspiria” fans). I’ve actually only seen it once, but it left such an impression on me over the years. I was really more of a Fulci fan for a long time, but as I got older & re-visited the works of both directors, it was really more like comparing Tarantino to Roth (or Bay to Scott, whatever you like). Hopefully my wife can get past the year it was made & the language it was shot in, but I’ll take the risk !

8) The Offspring (1987)

WHISP-002“In a small Tennessee town, an historian relates four horror stories to a reporter.”

TECHNICALLY I should refer to this by it’s original title of “From a Whisper to a Scream” (especially since I’m a real stickler for using original titles for albums & films). That said, I originally found/saw this as “The Offspring”, and later became a big fan of the band by that name (though I can’t defend all of their later material). I was overjoyed to see a reversible cover on the Scream Factory release, making “The Offspring” live forever on my movie wall. This is an extremely overlooked Anthology flick, featuring the last Horror role of Vincent Price (assuming we’re not counting “Dead Heat” or “Edward Scissorhands”, because come on).

9) The Blob (1988)

the-blob-movie-poster“A strange lifeform consumes everything in its path as it grows and grows.”

Easily one of the better, and most overlooked, Horror remakes. A rare case of a remake improving upon the original (depending on when you were born & what you look for in Horror I suppose). Incredible practical FX, solid plot, a pre-“Saw” Shawnee Smith & an excellent ending all combine to make this almost a most classic, except among those who’ve sung its praises for years. This would make a great double bill with “Night of the Creeps”, though NOTC barely missed the cut on this years list. It may have to wait till next year to thrill me.

10) Alligator (1980)

ALLEY_TRAMP“A baby alligator is flushed down a Chicago toilet and survives by eating discarded laboratory rats injected with growth hormones. The small reptile grows gigantic, escapes the city sewers, and goes on a rampage.”

A late addition to the list, but one I’ve been meaning to get to since acquiring the DVD years ago. Arguably the best Gator-Horror flick ever made (honestly, it’s a short list. “Eaten Alive” ? “Rogue” ?), and possibly the greatest Crocodile-Horror ever made as well (“Lake Placid” ? “Crocodile” ? “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles” ?). From what I recall, the effects still hold up, which is impressive in its own right considering how awful the “Lake Placid” series looks.

11) The Loved Ones (2009)

index“When Brent turns down his classmate Lola’s invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge.”

Another recent instant-classic, Australia has been making some impressive forays into the genre in recent years (“The Reef” in particular is probably the best shark movie since “Jaws”, but then again, every shark movie cover says that). I loved the juxtaposition of Horror & Happiness during the intertwining storylines, and many Horror fans can identify with Prom being a real Horror Show.

12) Frankenstein’s Army (2013)

affiche-frankenstein-s-army-2013-4“Toward the end of World War II, Russian soldiers pushing into eastern Germany stumble across a secret Nazi lab, one that has unearthed and begun experimenting with the journal of one Dr. Victor Frankenstein. The scientists have used the legendary Frankenstein’s work to assemble an army of super-soldiers stitched together from the body parts of their fallen comrades — a desperate Hitler’s last ghastly ploy to escape defeat.”

Although some complained about the logistical/factual problems of a found footage movie set during World War 2, I absolutely fell in love with the creature design work in this film. My wife actually watched this one with me & was furious at the lack of historical accuracy, which I found to be a hilarious criticism of such a film, but hey, at least she watched it, right ? I look forward to my second viewing, alone again (naturally).

13) Sleep Tight (2011)

sleep-tight-movie-poster-2010-1020735230“You wake day after day to the comfort and security of your home. But how safe is it really?”

I only saw this for the first time a few months ago, but it was an exceptionally well made film that got under my skin & never truly left. While there have been several quality Spanish-made Horror films in the past decade, few have been as successful at slowly ratcheting up tension in a non-gory fashion. Well acted, written & put together, “Sleep Tight” is a real treat.

14) Horror Hospital (1973)

y“Jason, a member of a 1960’s pop group, decides he needs a break at a country retreat. On the train he meets Judy, niece of Aunt Harris who owns the place with her husband Dr Storm and who are using the guests for surgical mind-control experiments. So while Jason and Judy are pretty quickly making out, they are just as quickly working out how to get away.”

Probably the epitome of the kind of Horror my wife can’t get into, this movie is a ridiculous treat for fans of low budget, old school UK Horror. I’m a sucker for most movies set in a remote “Something’s not right here, but will they figure it out in time ??” locale, and as a bonus, this one has Alfred from Tim Burton’s “Batman” films ! Gough check it out ! Sorry.

15) I Saw the Devil (2010)

479c300b896892bcf4ba23f6da46da5d“A secret agent exacts revenge on a serial killer through a series of captures and releases.”

Another recent instant-classic from the “Who even thinks up this stuff ?” Japanese, this one is a tough watch at times, but well worth the effort. There are some impeccably filmed scenes here, and although the subject matter is a tad grim at times, the end result is well worth enduring. And hey, at least it’s not “Martyrs”, right ? It’s like a comedy compared to that ! (In no way is it like a comedy).

16) Tales of Halloween (2015)

14

“Ten stories are woven together by their shared theme of Halloween night in an American suburb, where ghouls, imps, aliens and axe murderers appear for one night only to terrorize unsuspecting residents.”

Possibly the film I’m most excited for this October. I’m a HUGE fan of Horror Anthologies, and short stories in general. I’m the kind of guy who will buy 6 different beers instead of a 6 pack. That said, TOO MUCH variety is often overwhelming & more of a letdown (I’m looking at you “ABC’s of Death” series). “Tales of Halloween” has a stellar cast of filmmakers behind it, and has been getting great reviews thus far. Honestly, I’d be watching even if it didn’t, but I’m thrilled to be able to check it out in theaters.

17) The Signal (2007)

22“A horror film told in three parts, from three perspectives, in which a mysterious transmission that turns people into killers invades every cell phone, radio, and television.”

Another unheralded indie film, this one was interesting due to being 1 story told in 3 parts by 3 different writer/directors. The tone shifts throughout, but not to an unpleasant degree. The midsection’s switch to Comedy was jarring for some, but I appreciated the variety they were able to bring to the story. Even if the middle didn’t work for some, the first & third acts were horrifically impressive.

18) My Bloody Valentine (1981)

tumblr_lyncmw97hE1r8t8k6o1_1280“A decades old folk tale surrounding a deranged murderer killing those who celebrate Valentine’s Day, turns out to be true to legend when a group defies the killer’s order and people start turning up dead.”

The original Canadian Classic ! To me, this movie didn’t really exist until MGM released the Uncut DVD/Blu Ray several years ago. I remember seeing it on TV & being completely underwhelmed, to the point of not even enjoying the film itself. There was a good amount of fanfare when the Uncut version was released, and I’m so glad it survived (even if the cut scenes weren’t of HD quality). The kill scenes absolutely MAKE this film, and elevate it to a higher Cult status than it had already enjoyed. Always nice to see some old school Moosehead bottles too. The less we say about the unintentionally hilarious MBV3D, the better.

19) Maniac (2012)

index232“As he helps a young artist with her upcoming exhibition, the owner of a mannequin shop’s deadly, suppressed desires come to the surface.”

Another example of a remake improving upon the original (sorry Spinell fans), “Maniac” turned the Horror world upset down with both the casting of Frodo and the decision to shoot entirely in POV. Now, anyone who had seen “Sin City” knew that Wood’s casting was well earned, but would they be able to shoot 90 mins from his point of view without making it tedious or monotonous for the audience ? Much like “Will “Buried” be able to make 90 mins in a coffin with Ryan Reynolds interesting” and “Will “Frozen” (the good one) be able to make 90 mins on a ski-life with Iceman nerve wracking”, the answer was a resounding Yes.

20) The Omen 2 (1978)

damien-omen-2-movie-poster-1978-1020466118“Damien the Antichrist, now thirteen years old, finally learns of his destiny under the guidance of an unholy disciple of Satan. Meanwhile dark forces begin to eliminate all those who suspect the child’s true identity.”

This might seem like an odd choice, but I actually preferred this film to any other “Omen” entry. There is a palpable sense of dread throughout, probably more so if you weren’t aware there were 2 sequels following. Several key scenes have always stuck with me, but the old man in the red snowsuit being trapped under the ice is one I’ll never forget. Who would’ve thought that Damien would eventually grow up to be in both “Jurassic Park” AND “In the Mouth of Madness” ?? He was truly blessed.

21) Slither (2006)

slither-movie-poster“A small town is taken over by an alien plague, turning residents into zombies and all forms of mutant monsters.”

Before rising to worldwide prominence for writing/directing “Guardians of the Galaxy” (but after marrying Pam from “The Office”) James Gunn wrote & directed this gross out Horror/Comedy gem. A partial homage to the aforementioned “Night of the Creeps”, you can tell the cast had a great time making this throwback genre flick. And speaking of decent Remakes, this was 3 years after he wrote the surprisingly decent “Dawn of the Dead” ! Not too shabby (unlike the remake of “Day of the Dead”).

22) The Burning (1981)

TheBurningfinal“A former summer camp caretaker, horribly burned from a prank gone wrong, lurks around an upstate New York summer camp bent on killing the teenagers responsible for his disfigurement.”

Another film rescued by MGM on DVD before before being re-rescued on Blu Ray by Scream Factory ! Actually, as I recall “The Burning” & “Scarecrows” made their DVD debut on the same day all those years ago ! “The Burning” is primarily known for 5 reasons. 1) It’s a rip-off of “Friday the 13th”. 2) Tom Savini did the FX. 3) It co-stars a young Jason Alexander (with hair !). 4) It was the first film made by Miramax (and was even co-written by one of the Weinstein’s). 5) Rick Wakeman (of “Yes”) did the soundtrack. Not a bad pedigree for a low budget Horror knock off !

23) Proxy (2013)

Proxy-Movie-Poster-Teaser“The life of three parents who have all shared the loss of a child. Motives are not what they seem and sanity is in short supply in this thriller.”

I saw this recently on Netflix & was quite impressed with the story & performances, so much so that I quickly went to Twitter to thank the Writer/Director for his efforts (he was pleased. Gotta love technology). Though the subject matter is a bit touchy at times, “Proxy” never goes overboard, instead drawing it’s story out gradually with an air of mystery throughout. Highly recommended (if you’re into that sort of thing).

24) Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

LetsScareJessicaToDeath-1971“A recently institutionalized woman has bizarre experiences after moving into a supposedly haunted country farmhouse and fears she may be losing her sanity once again.”

Another film that wouldn’t appeal to my wife in the slightest, “LSJTD” is a slow, brooding, mid-70’s Horror with an unnerving sense of dread permeating almost entirely through its running time. I’ve really come to appreciate these dreamlike 70’s Horrors (Lemora, Le Orme, Who Can Kill a Child, Voices, And Soon the Darkness), though I do see why some find them tedious, especially by today’s standards.

25) An American Werewolf in London (1981)

26262“Two American college students on a walking tour of Britain are attacked by a werewolf that none of the locals will admit exists.”

A classic film that still boasts arguably the best Werewolf transformation ever. This selection could go either way for my Wife, but I think the mixture of Comedy, Horror & above average effects has helped it stand the test of time. I’ve never been a big Werewolf guy (I found both “Near Dark” & “The Howling” to be flawed, though enjoyable), but “AAWIL” seems to be one most can agree on. Unlike the sequel …

26) Session 9 (2001)

session-9-movie-poster-2001-1020232902

“Tensions rise within an asbestos cleaning crew as they work in an abandoned mental hospital with a horrific past that seems to be coming back.”


A criminally underrated film, perhaps partly overlooked due to the casting of David Caruso. “Session 9” is an incredibly unnerving film that slowly drags you further under its spell, never letting go until the credits roll. I’m a sucker for films set in asylums (though most are horrible rather than horrific) & “Session 9” uses its settings to great advantage. It’s a tense, frightening & thrilling mystery that’s well worth your time, even if it co-stars CSI:NYPD Blue.

27) The Final Girls (2015)

The_Final_Girls_poster“A young woman grieving the loss of her mother, a famous scream queen from the 1980s, finds herself pulled into the world of her mom’s most famous movie. Reunited, the women must fight off the film’s maniacal killer.”

The third & final (lol?) “previously unseen” film is also arguably the most hyped. I’ve heard nothing but great things about this one, which is apparently more frightening than terrifying, but hey, so was “Shaun of the Dead” & “What We Do in the Shadows” ! If it can approach anywhere near those heights, we’re certainly in for a treat.

28) Planet Terror (2007)

Planet_Terror_international_movie_poster“After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it’s up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release.”

I was lucky enough to see this in the theater as part of the complete “Grindhouse” experience. Unfortunately I was unlucky enough to stay around for “Death Proof” afterwards, but it didn’t take away from the shear lunacy/joy of Robert Rodriguez’s zombie epic. Yes, it doesn’t look low budget or much like a true Grindhouse film, but dammit, it was a blast ! I have yet to watch my Blu Ray of the “extended cut”, but if the movie is as good as I remember, I’ll be pleased as punch. (PS – I like Tarantino’s next 3 films, but DP just didn’t do it for me).

29) At the Devil’s Door (2014)

at_the_devils_door_xlg“When ambitious young real estate agent Leigh is asked to sell a house with a checkered past, she crosses paths with a disturbed girl whom she believes is the runaway daughter of the couple selling the property. When Leigh tries to intervene and help her, she becomes entangled with a supernatural force that soon pulls Leigh’s artist sister Vera into its web – and has sinister plans for both of them.”

Another recent Netflix discovery, this was a pleasant surprise, especially amongst a sea of awful DTV Horror films with “Devil” in the title (not you “Devil”, you were alright). I couldn’t remember too much about this one the next day, apart from being impressed enough to vouch for it to my wife. We’ll soon see if that was a foolish effort on my part.

30) Halloween 3 (1982)

halloween_iii_fan_poster_by_mrgrumpy07-d31ffe7“Kids all over America want Silver Shamrock masks for Halloween. Doctor Daniel Challis seeks to uncover a plot by Silver Shamrock owner Conal Cochran.”

One of the most divisive Halloween films (largely because it’s the only one to NOT feature Michael Myers), “Season of the Witch” has enjoyed a sort of Cult Renaissance in recent years, largely from fans being like “Who cares if it’s the only 1 of 11 Halloween films to not feature MM, it’s a good story !”. I mean, Halloween 8 DID have MM, and it was horrible ! Looking forward to seeing what Scream Factory brought to the table on this one. And hey, you can’t go wrong with Tom Atkins (even if “Night of the Creeps” didn’t make the list).

31) The Changeling (1980)

the-changeling-movie-poster-1980-1020194171“A man staying at a secluded historical mansion finds himself being haunted by the presence of a spectre.”

I felt I had to end on a classic, and what better than a CANADIAN classic, starring a classic actor ?? This one is a bit of a shot in the dark, as it’s entirely possible my wife will find it too slow & dated. That said, it’s the last movie on the list, so if it fails to impress her, hey, it’s November ! It’s been too long since my last viewing, and this one truly deserves a re-watch. Even if it ends my marriage …

There were a few Runner Ups that didn’t make the cut for one reason or another, though all are totally worthy in their own ways. I thought I’d include them for fun though, so you can tear into me for cutting out one of them in favour of some movie you thought sucked. Have at it, we’re all friends here ! Although I may have offended Joe Spinnell, Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth, Michael Bay & Tom Atkins. Still, I had a good run.

Till’ Next,

– e

Runner Ups –

Kill List
Blood Rage
The Mutilator
Night of the Creeps
Stake Land
Terrorvision
Terror on the Menu
The Devils Rejects

Lazron’s 2014 October Horrorthon !

014

Well, it’s that time of year again. Some might say the BEST time of year ! Unless they hated horror films, in which case, it’s probably the worst time of year. Nuts to those people though, it’s time for 31 straight day of horror flicks !!

I’m pretty excited about this year (although I say that every year I suppose). The vast majority of these choices are acclaimed, either critically or from other horror fans. There are a few I’ve been meaning to get to for years, some even had been picked for previous Horrorthons (Sorry Rec 2+3).

This is my first post-marriage Horrorthon, so do pity my lovely wife for the madness she’s about to be privy to. For her, November 1st must feel like a lifetime away. Luckily we have two floors here, everybody wins !

Anyway, without further ado, I present to you, the 2014 October Horrorthon !

1) Murder Party (2007)

“A random invitation to a Halloween party leads a man into the hands of a rogue collective intent on murdering him for the sake of their art, sparking a bloodbath of mishap, mayhem and hilarity”


2) The ABC’s of Death 2 (2014)

“Be ready to learn your ABC’s again with 26 new directors and 26 new deaths bring your kids to a blood and gore filled horror so good your face will be blood red”


3) Triangle (2009)

“The story revolves around the passengers of a yachting trip in the Atlantic Ocean who, when struck by mysterious weather conditions, jump to another ship only to experience greater havoc on the open seas”


4) Rec 2 (2009)

“In order to ascertain the current situation inside, a supposed medical officer and a GEO team step into the quarantined and ill-fated apartment building”


5) Rec 3 (2012)

“A couple’s wedding day turns horrific as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness”


6) The Den (2013)

“A young woman studying the habits of webcam chat users from the apparent safety of her apartment witnesses a brutal murder online and is quickly immersed in a nightmare in which she and her loved ones are targeted for the same grisly fate as the first victim”


7) Amer (2009)

“Three key moments, all of them sensual, define Ana’s life. Her carnal search sways between reality and colored fantasies becoming more and more oppressive. A black laced hand prevents her from screaming. The wind lifts her dress and caresses her thighs. A razor blade brushes her skin, where will this chaotic and carnivorous journey leave her? ”


8) Bug (2006)

“An unhinged war veteran holes up with a lonely woman in a spooky Oklahoma motel room. The line between reality and delusion is blurred as they discover a bug infestation”


9) Wither (2012)

“Ida and Albin are a happy couple. They set off to a cabin in the vast Swedish woodlands to have a fun holiday with their friends. But under the floorboards waits an evil from Sweden’s dark past”


10) Patrick (2013)

“After killing his mother and her lover some years before, Patrick is the comatose patient in room 15 of a remote, private psychiatric clinic”


11) The Nail Gun Massacre (1985)

“After a young girl is gang-raped by a crew of construction workers, someone starts killing off members of the group with a nail-gun”


12) 13 Tzameti (2005)

“Sebastian, a young man, has decided to follow instructions intended for someone else, without knowing where they will take him. Something else he does not know is that Gerard Dorez, a cop on a knife-edge, is tailing him. When he reaches his destination, Sebastian falls into a degenerate, clandestine world of mental chaos behind closed doors in which men gamble on the lives of others men”


13) 13 (2010)

“A naive young man assumes a dead man’s identity and finds himself embroiled in an underground world of power, violence, and chance where men gamble behind closed doors on the lives of other men”


14) Berberian Sound Studio (2012)

“A sound engineer’s work for an Italian horror studio becomes a terrifying case of life imitating art”


15) The Redeemer (1978)

“Six people are trapped within the confines of their old high school during their 10th high school reunion with a psychotic, masked preacher who kills them off for their sinful lives they have made for themselves”


16) Sleep Tight (2011)

“You wake day after day to the comfort and security of your home. But how safe is it really?”


17) The Legend of Hell House (1973)

“A team consisting of a physicist, his wife, a young female psychic and the only survivor of the previous visit are sent to the notorious Hell House to prove/disprove survival after death. Previous visitors have either been killed or gone mad, and it is up to the team to survive a full week in isolation, and solve the mystery of the Hell House”


18) Thirst (2009)

“Through a failed medical experiment, a priest is stricken with vampirism and is forced to abandon his ascetic ways”


19) American Mary (2012)

“The allure of easy money sends Mary Mason, a medical student, into the world of underground surgeries which ends up leaving more marks on her than her so called “freakish” clients”


20) Audition (1999)

“A widower takes an offer to screen girls at a special audition, arranged for him by a friend to find him a new wife. The one he fancies is not who she appears to be after all”


21) The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

“Down a seedy city street in her neighborhood, young Enola Penny is obsessed with what appears to be a long abandoned theatre. One night, she sees that the front door is slightly ajar and impulsively decides to sneak inside. But there in the dark, decrepit auditorium, a show unlike any other unfolds before her eyes. Its host is an eerie human puppet named Peg Poett who will introduce Penny to six tales of the bizarre: A couple traveling in a remote part of the French Pyrenees cross paths with a lustful witch; A paranoid lover faces the wrath of a partner who has been pushed to her limit; The Freudian dreams of an unfaithful husband blur the lines between fantasy and reality; The horrors of the real world are interpreted through the mind of a child; A woman addicted to other people’s memories gets her fix through the vitreous fluid of her victims’ eyeballs; And a perverse obsession with sweets turns sour for a couple in too deep. But as the stories unfold, something much stranger is happening to Enola. Something irreversible and horrific. Something that awaits its next audience in THE THEATRE BIZARRE”


22) Anguish (1987)

“A controlling mother uses telepathic powers to send her middle-aged son on a killing spree”


23) Shock Value (2014)

“Struggling ‘B’ movie Director blackmails a serial killer to be the star of his next film”


24) Psychos in Love (1987)

“A strip-joint owner and a manicurist find that they have many things in common, the foremost being that they are psychotic serial killers. They fall in love and are happy being the family that slays together, until one day they come up against a plumber who also happens to be a cannibal”


25) Dead Snow 2 (2014)

“If the worst day of your life consisted of accidentally killing your girlfriend with an axe, chain-sawing your own arm off, and watching in horror as your closest friends were devoured by a zombified Nazi battalion, you’d have to assume that things couldn’t get much worse. In Martin’s case, that was only the beginning”


26) Joshua (2007)

“The arrival of a newborn girl causes the gradual disintegration of the Cairn family; particularly for 9-year-old Joshua, an eccentric boy whose proper upbringing and refined tastes both take a sinister turn”


27) The Ruins (2008)

“A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil lives among the ruins”


28) Evilspeak (1981)

“A military cadet who happens to be a social outcast taps into a way to summon demons and cast spells on his tormentors through his computer”


29) Home Sick (2007)

“A maniac with a suitcase full of razorblades unleashes a super human killer upon a group of kids in a small Alabama town. They must take up arms with a insane Chili enthusiast if they want to survive”


30) Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

“Giovanni Lambardo Radice and John Saxon are Vietman vets that bring back contagious virus that turn people into cannibals when bitten”


31) VHS 3 (2014)

“Follows fame-obsessed teens who unwittingly become stars of the next internet sensation”

2014 – A List of Things I Can’t Wait to Enjoy

With all due respect to 2013, I think it may be all but a memory when 2014 is said and done. That isn’t to say that the past year was without it’s gems, far from it. 2013 brought us the return of Anchorman, the best Arctic Monkeys album yet, an instant classic horror remake (Maniac), my engagement, a second Deltron 3030 album, an overindulgent Arcade Fire (and Eminem, and Kanye) record, and many many other occurrences.

Still, I had a hard time feeling great about 2013 while compiling this list of upcoming gems. The more I added to it, the more excited I became. And that was BEFORE 60’s Batman was announced for a DVD/Blu-Ray release ! Hell, that could be it’s own blog entry right there ! It’s not though. Anyway, I’ve separated the gems into 4 columns. TV, Music, Film & Home Video. And yes, I’m still calling it “Home Video”, I fear change !

TV

1) The Return of 24 [season 9] (May 5th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir9t53Dh08Q

24_Live_Another_DayI know this won’t mean much to non-diehards of the show, and even those of us who trudged through the last 3 seasons probably aren’t expecting much at this point. That said, 24 was a thrilling show that I looked forward to seeing week after week. Season 5 was the clear standout (best characters, story & villains, least junk), but I’m hoping that a change in format (from 24 episodes to 12) and location (London instead of the US) may be just what the series needs to ratchet up the tension experienced in the first 5 seasons of this groundbreaking show.

2) Better Call Saul (November)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBNs9rk0FGo

Better-Call-SaulClearly that isn’t the real intro, but I’m sure we’d all still watch it if it was. I actually didn’t catch up with Breaking Bad until this year, mainly because I’d watched the first season (& a few episodes of season 2) with my (now) ex, so it was a bit tainted for awhile. I knew I’d love it (and I did), and now that I’m caught up, I can’t wait to watch this prequel series, starring Bob Odenkirk’s popular Saul Goodman character. Clearly it won’t live up to everyone’s hype, but it’s the closest we’ll get to new episodes of BB, so bring it on !

3) The Return of Trailer Park Boys [Season 8] (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m97HE5U91VM

tpbSpeaking of shows that were once great, then got less great (but still enjoyable), TPB is coming back for an 8th (and 9th, at least) season ! There’s also a third film being released in April (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwJIDrOEPts), though I’m a bit more excited to have a regular series returning. As it turns out, the main cast members themselves have acquired the rights to the series, so I suppose we can look forward to them milking the characters to death for years to come. That said, it’s nice to see them back in TV show form, even if it ends up being online only.

4) American Horror Story [season 4] (October)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Khbhv33ab0

o-AMERICAN-HORROR-STORY-570Sadly, neither of those are real. Well, “official” that is. All we know about the upcoming season of AHS is that it will be a period piece set in 1950, and most of the cast will return (including the always excellent Jessica Lange). It may seem pretty far away (seeing as season 3 doesn’t end until tomorrow), but AHS has been a consistently fun watch over it’s 3 season run. It makes me look forward to every October even more than usual.

Home Video

1) BATMAN (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlusgU-MUZ4

d083576dc96bccb3a19606f4fbc2ddd61e48b12I can’t even begin to tell you how outrageously excited I am for this release. This has been at the top of my list since I was a child collecting VHS and watching Batman re-runs after school. I can safely say that this is one of my favourite TV shows of all time, despite how ludicrous it became. One need only look at the blu ray transfer (and special features) given to the one-off 60’s Batman film to fathom just how good those colours can look in HD. This show was so tangled up in rights issues, I’d assumed that my black market DVD’s of studio master VHS rips was the best I’d ever get. The fact that I’ll have a blu ray copy of all 120 episodes in my hands by the end of the year is almost too much to comprehend. SO STOKED !! (P.S – that’s not official cover art, but it’s pretty sweet regardless).

2) Nightbreed – The Cabal Cut (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX0-AlytIXY

nightbreedcabalNothing bothers me more than censorship or studio fuckery. Many films have been irrevocably ruined by studio meddlers who thought their vision trumped the filmmakers’. It’s rare that the artists get another shot to fix the mistakes of the past, but Clive Barker has been given just that. Not only will we get to see (more or less) his original vision of Nightbreed, but we’ll get it from the brilliant minds of Scream Factory, arguably the best studio for genre video releases. It’s been an ongoing struggle to wrestle the footage/rights from the studio, but this Fall it will all have been worth it (assuming the extended cut is actually good).

3) Anchorman 2 – Recut (April)

http://et.tv/1cE2B5T

anchorman-2-whysoblu-2As much as I enjoyed Anchorman 2, I couldn’t wait to see the long discussed recut version of the film. So much footage was shot for the original Anchorman that an entirely new movie was made with the leftover footage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNWTvzLrWFA). A similar thing happened with the second film, but with a bit of a twist. Although the “recut” version will include 15-20 minutes of entirely new footage, ALL of the jokes from Anchorman 2 have been replaced with alternate jokes, 250 new jokes in total. An ambitious undertaking to be sure, but one I can’t wait to sink my teeth into.

Music

1) Johnny Cash – Out Among the Stars (March 25)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiUaWE_Vftg

Johnny_Cash_-_Out_Among_the_Starshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBlRx7DlL_E

It’s not often that we’re treated to a “lost” album by a certified legend. Recorded in the early 80’s, this album has never seen the light of day. We’ve become conditioned to lower our expectations when it comes to an artist of this caliber, especially for material that’s been buried for 30 years. That said, I’m excited to hear what’s been tucked away for so long.

2) Broken Bells – After the Disco (February 4th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhBewKu80Mg

After_The_Disco_CoverDespite the pedigree of the duo involved (The Shins, Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz, The Black Keys, Beck), I think the first Broken Bells album flew under the radar for most people. It was a lovely blend of both artists, an album that rewarded multiple spins and became all the richer for it. I’ve been fiending for a follow up record (though their Meyrin Fields EP was an enjoyable stopgap). Word is that this record is even better than the first. Can’t wait to give it a spin.

3) Kasabian – TBD (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3x_ayUaoSk

3004Not much is known about Kasabian’s upcoming fifth album, but they’ve become one of the most consistent and enjoyable UK bands in years. Only Arctic Monkeys can boast a better track record, and their recently released fifth album was their best effort yet. Can Kasabian continue that trend ? Let’s hope.

4) Ratatat – LP5 (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X827AZ_ajAs

f3158fdc5db111e3be8c12db5299872b_6Speaking of consistent bands dropping their fifth records, it seems like ages since we’ve had any new Ratatat music to enjoy. Their delicious blend of “Daft Punk meets Legend of Zelda” has served them well over the years, even leading to a production job for Kid Cudi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXaqfllUz3k). Though LP5 hasn’t been OFFICALLY announced for 2014, I’d be shocked if we don’t have it in our hands by the end of the year.

5) Wu-Tang Clan – A Better Tomorrow (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdvsUdOssiw

Wu-Tang ClanOh, the ups and downs of being a Wu fan. I actually really enjoyed (most of) their last record “8 Diagrams”, but fans have a valid reason for being concerned with the quality of this, their (likely) last record. For years we’ve seen in-fighting, bickering, subpar solo releases and little reason to hope for the best. The latest cause for concern is Raekwon’s reluctance to add verses to the album unless he is paid upfront. Supposedly the album is finished, apart from Rae’s contribution. Truly a sad state of affairs, but either way, we’ll be getting the album soon enough.

6) DoomStarks – Swift & Changeable (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9_HY6uZwVc

Doom+Starks+doomstarks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1-Mv2pzhh8

I’m starting to think we may never actually get this record. Supposedly they’ve been working on it for the past 7-8 years, but so far only 2 tracks have been released. On the plus side, one of those was released last year, leading me to believe that we’re closer than ever to hearing this (hopeful) gem of a record. Of course, both artists tend to spread themselves pretty thin, so who knows when we’ll actually get to hear it.

7) Nas – TBD (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ2E-hRDfiY

NasNot much is known about the upcoming 12th Nas album, apart from the fact that it will drop in 2014 and be his last release under Def Jam. It was also recently confirmed that it will contain a track called “Sinatra in the Sands” featuring Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake. It’s also a safe bet that Kendrick Lamar will make an appearance. Can’t wait.

8) Jack White – TBD (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpK0CTEZGe8

2010jackwhitejm080112gallery0Much as it pains me to admit, I was pretty letdown by Jack White’s first solo record, “Blunderbuss”. It wasn’t a “bad” album, it just didn’t quite live up to what came before it. That said, I’m a HUGE Jack White fan. I think he’s one of the last real rock stars, and I’ll always check out anything he lends his talents to. Fingers crossed that his second record knocks it out of the park.

9) The Slew – TBD (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kVrbs2B6XA

TheSlew_Band_2_16x9_620x350Speaking of albums that flew under the radar, hardly anybody seemed to notice when Kid Koala (Deltron 3030, Bullfrog) teamed up with the 2 former members of Wolfmother (when they were good) to create The Slew. It was an incredible show and album, featuring 2 DJ’s and a live rhythm section. 2014 will bring us the next chapter in their sound, but I urge you to check out 100%, great record.

Film

1) Dumb and Dumber To (November 14th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMXwrJV3W98

dumb-and-dumber-to-set-09242013-102002I wish I had a trailer for you, but that TV spot was pretty great for 2 reasons. First, she said ‘we’ve all been waiting 20 years for this”, but appears to be about 23-25, so there’s that. Second, she pronounced the name Harry “Doon” instead of “Done”. Bit awkward for someone who’s been waiting for a movie since she was a toddler ! ANYway, Dumb & Dumber was an instant classic, much like Anchorman. I never thought we’d get a sequel to either, but to get BOTH seems to make this the best year ever !

2) Sin City 2 – A Dame to Kill For (August 22nd)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDYsUl5-9Gk

Sin-City-A-Dame-to-Kill-For-teaser-posterSpeaking of sequels I never thought we’d see, this year we’re being blessed with a follow up to the visually astounding Sin City. I couldn’t believe how awesome the trailer looked when the first movie arrived, and the film itself did not disappoint. I can’t help but think this will be a highlight of the summer.

3) X-Men – Days of Future Past (May 23rd)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK2zYHWDZKo

X-Men_Days_of_Future_Past_posterI have to admit, I’m more excited about this film due to “X-Men First Class” rather than the first 3 X-Men films. Not that they were bad (maybe the third one), but First Class was the only one of the four that really blew me away. Excellent acting, cool storyline, good casting, etc. I’m hoping that Bryan Singer (director of the first two) is able to bridge the universes properly, but I’m certainly a bit cautious about this one.

4) Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (July 11th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0wP5ZkaUGg

Dawn_of_the_Planet_of_the_ApesI’m actually a pretty big fan of the Planet of the Apes series, but even I was taken aback by how good the prequel/reboot was. It was arguably the best film of the entire series, and I’m still kicking myself for not catching it in theaters. I won’t make the same mistake twice, I just hope my diligence pays off.

5) REC 4 (October 18th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApWyHgYZFqQ

REC_4_PosterThe original REC was one of the greatest “found footage” horror films ever made. Unfortunately it spawned a horrible remake (Quarantine), which itself had an unrelated, direct to video sequel that nobody cared about. REC 4 will be a sequel to the well received REC 2, picking up immediately after it ended. I still haven’t watched REC 3, but it’s set at a wedding, so it should coincide nicely with my own impending nuptials.

6) Interstellar (November 7th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WzHXI5HizQ

interstellar-christopher-nolan-posterI don’t know too much about this one, but all that really matters is the director (Christopher Nolan) and the cast (Matthew McConaughey, Ellen Burstyn, Matt Damon, Michael Caine, Anne Hathaway, John Lithgow). After The Dark Knight, Memento, The Prestige and Inception, it’s hard to think Nolan will drop the ball on this one. Sign me up !

7) The Grand Budapest Hotel (March 7th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fg5iWmQjwk

The_Grand_Budapest_Hotel_PosterSpeaking of reliable directors, you either dig Wes Anderson or you don’t. I’m not a fanatical Anderson Defender, but I’ve loved most of his output, including his most recent offering, Moonrise Kingdom (which ranked among his best). As usual, the cast is great, the tone is quirky and the seats will be filled.

8) Grand Piano (January 30th)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEoM7bM7KVw

Grand_Piano_Official_PosterIt’s hard to believe how far Elijah Wood has come. From “The Good Son” to Middle Earth to Sin City to Maniac, the boy can act ! The premise of this one sounds a bit like Phone Booth meets Amadeus (alright, it’s the first movie I thought of involving a piano), and it’s been garnering rave reviews on the festival circuit. Catch it On Demand in January or in theaters this March.

9) The Town that Dreaded Sundown (TBA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njIN4eHJKWM

The-Town-That-Dreaded-SundownSpeaking of Elijah Wood, his turn in last years “Maniac” remake further solidified his acting chops. Will “The Town that Dreaded Sundown” be this years semi-obscure indie horror remake that improves on the original ? In the hands of American Horror Story’s Ryan Murphy, I’ve got pretty high hopes for it.

In Closing

There are certainly many other projects that I’m excited about this year, as well as many I’m sure I don’t even know about yet ! There’s been a strong rumour that The Kinks may re-form this year (for the first time since the mid-90’s). I’ve heard those rumours before, so I tend not to get too excited. That said, if it doesn’t happen this year (the 50th Anniversary of their first album) it’ll never happen. Fingers crossed they can overcome their differences and head out, one last time.

Apart from all that, I’ve got my aforementioned wedding to look forward to in 5 months. For that reason alone it’ll be hard to top 2014 as one of the highlights of my life. But then I found out Batman was coming out too. How lucky can one guy be ?!

Till’ Next,

– e

Lazron’s October Horrorthon 2013

Well, it’s that time of year again. The time where I’m not the only person lovingly busting through as many horror flicks as possible. I’d argue that Halloween is my favourite holiday, though I’m also partial to Christmas. That said, my Christmas Horrorthon is never as good as my October Horrorthon, so Halloween might have the edge here.

I’ve been doing this for a few years now, much to the occasional chagrin of relationships past and present. As with most things, there’s been ups and downs. Lack of sleep, regrettable film choices, amazingly obscure soundtracks, it’s all been part of the fun in this horrific October learning curve.

This year will be a little different than years past. For one thing I’ve decided to pick 31 films I hadn’t seen before. Traditionally I’d watched the classic “Trick r’ Treat” on Halloween and “Halloween II” on the 30th. As much as I love those films, and I may still sneak them in, I felt there was already a glut of cinematic atrocities that remained to be seen, thus the painful decision to carry on without those two mainstays.

The other difference between this year and years past will be my inability to watch one film per night. I’ll still be watching (at least) 31 films over the month, but I’ll be out of town 3 days for a wedding, which is apparently more important than terror films. Hopefully I can sneak on the wedding-themed “Rec 3”, but it’s probably best not to ruin everybody’s joyous occasion. Not deliberately anyway.

Those caveats aside, I’m genuinely stoked to be starting another epic list of horror gems. In years past I’ve discovered some truly enjoyable flicks, including Nightmare City, Some Guy Who Kills People & The Dead. Of course, there’s also been stuff like The Burrowers & Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2, so it could go either way.

Another thing I’ve tried with this years list is including youtube links to full movies whenever possible. This will theoretically allow you to watch along with me ! Though you and I both know that’s not going to happen. Still, a surprising amount of them have been uploaded, thumbs up for modern technology.

Anyway, without further adieu, I present you with the latest installment of …

Lazron’s October Horrorthon 2013

1) Night of the Demons (1988)

night-of-the-demons-movie-poster-1989-1020204365“A group of teens decides to have a Halloween party up at the deserted funeral parlor. They accidentally awaken a demon while having a seance. The demon enters the body of one of the women, and soon the teens begin experiencing an attrition problem.”

At one time I actually owned this movie, though I never ended up watching it. I think it was on one of HMV’s 5-8$ Super Sales and seemed too good to pass up. That is, until I ended up selling it before viewing it. That said, it’s got a solid fanbase, multiple sequels and has since been remade. Seems like as good a film as any to kick of the holidays !

2) Curse of Chucky (2013)

Curse-of-Chucky-poster-art“After her mother’s mysterious death, Nica begins to suspect that the talking, red-haired doll her visiting niece has been playing with may be the key to recent bloodshed and chaos.”

I’m not really much of a Child’s Play fan, though I did enjoy Bride and Seed of Chucky. I’ve always found the originals to be fairly boring and unworthy of returning to. It’s rare for a film series, especially horror, to hit its’ stride on the fourth entry, but that’s precisely what many would agree happened in this case. This sixth film (all have been written by creator Don Mancini) is a direct to video affair, though it’s gotten good early reviews and is said to tie the series together nicely. Colour me intrigued.

3) Dr Phibes Rises Again (1972)

014“The vengeful Doctor rises again, seeking the Scrolls of Life in an attempt to resurrect his deceased wife.”

I’m a big fan of Vincent Price and would have to place the original Dr. Phibes film in my top 5 of his work. That film had a perfect ending, one which didn’t seem to leave room for a sequel (much like “The Descent”). I vaguely recall watching this follow up film when I was younger, though I dismissed it as a less than stellar rehash of the original. That said, my love for the original and distance between viewings has lead me to give it another chance. There was actually a third film planned (a script was eventually leaked online) but alas, it was not to be.

4) Body Melt (1993)

body_melt_1993“Residents of peaceful Pebbles Court, Homesville, are being used unknowingly as test experiments for a new ‘Body Drug’ that causes rapid body decomposition (melting skin etc.) and painful death.”

I’ve had a copy of this one for awhile but I’d always heard mixed reviews. I’m kind of a sucker for low budget melting movies though (Street Trash, Slime City, The Stuff), so I think it’s finally time to see whether or not this fits in the pantheon of Melted Masterpieces.

5) Nomads (1986)

NoMads“A French anthropologist moves to Los Angeles and is followed by the evil spirits of an extinct tribe he once uncovered.”

It’s hard not to enjoy seeing Pierce Brosnan in strange, pre-Bond forays (The Lawnmower Man, Mrs. Doubtfire. Nomads). Even in post-Bond efforts his appearance tends to bring a smile to my face. Brosnan made “Nomads” in between seasons of “Remington Steele”, and it actually has a fairly solid fanbase behind it. It doesn’t hurt that it was writer/director John McTiernan’s first film (over the next two years he’d make Predator and Die Hard). I’m most excited to see Pierce playing a french archeologist though. Spot on casting !

6) Slime City Massacre (2010)

SLIMECITYSMALLSIZEPOSTER“In the wake of a “dirty bomb” attack, a New York City neighborhood known as “Slime City” has been evacuated, except for the homeless (“displaced refugees”). Four squatters searching for food in the ruins of the Zachary Devon Soup Kitchen discover a supply of Zachary Devon’s Home Brewed Elixir and Himalayan Yogurt. When they drink the elixir and eat the yogurt, they are transformed into hideous slime creatures driven to murder – an intermediate step as they are possessed by the spirits of Zachary Devon and the members of his Coven of Flesh, who committed suicide years earlier. When a greedy developer sets his sites on Slime City, he hires a team of mercenaries to wipe out the homeless population. It’s a battle royale between the Slime Heads, the mercenaries, and bloodthirsty mutant cannibals!”

I tried to make a double bill of both Slime City films at one point, but I never got around to watching this one. Waiting 22 years between sequels is certainly uncommon, though “Godfather of Gore” Herschell Gordon Lewis waited 39 years between Blood Feast 1 & 2, so maybe 22 isn’t so bad. I guess we’ll find out what 22 years of fundraising buys you.

7) Terror Train (1980)

terror-train-poster“A masked killer targets six college kids responsible for a prank gone wrong years earlier and whom are currently throwing a large New Year’s Eve costume party aboard a moving train.”

This was Jamie Lee Curtis’ fourth film, following the triple threat of Halloween, The Fog and Prom Night (which have all been remade, terribly). I remember the Scream channel playing this one regularly, though I never got around to actually seeing it. I’ve heard nothing but good things about it though, so my hopes are pretty high.

8) The Bird with Crystal Plumage (1970)

argento-ucello-poster“A writer is stalked by a serial killer after witnessing a murder attempt on one woman’s life.”

I must confess, I’ve never been a huge fan of Dario Argento. I was always more of a Lucio Fulci fan, which is borderline sacrilege. I don’t deny that Argento is the more accomplished filmmaker, I just always preferred Fulci’s over the top gore to Argento’s subtle mastery. That said, I’ve set out to rectify my lack of Argento viewings by loading up on his films in this years Horrorthon. With 3 titles on the list, it’s up to his work to speak for itself.

9) No One Lives (2012)

no-one-lives-movie-wallpaper-26“A gang of ruthless highway killers kidnap a wealthy couple traveling cross country only to shockingly discover that things are not what they seem.”

I’ve heard pretty good things about this one, though I didn’t get around to seeing it in it’s brief theatrical run. Director Ryuhei Kitamura has made some incredibly enjoyable films, including Azumi, Godzilla – Final Wars, Versus, Sky High and Midnight Meat Train. None of those films are perfect (with the possible exception of Azumi), but he has an incredibly kinetic visual style that often makes up for any shortcomings in his stories.

10) Stagefright (1987)

stage-fright-deliria“A troupe of struggling stage actors is rehearsing for a small-town production of a play. Everything seems to be as it should until one of the cast members turns up dead. In a panic, the others try to get out, only to find they are now locked in the theater with the killer! Which one of them committed the murder, and who will get out alive?”

This is said to be something of a lost gem of the 80’s slasher set. It was produced by Joe D’Amato, a director best known for quickly made and cheaply produced grindhouse films. He did direct the infamous Anthropophagus and Beyond the Darkness (also featured on this list), so maybe his influence paid off in the end.

11) The Night Flier (1997)

night_flier_poster_01“A reporter is on the trail of a vampiric murderer who travels by plane.”

This is one of the least discussed and highly regarded Stephen King adaptations ever put to film. I’d never even heard of it for years, but it’s legend has slowly grown over time. I’m a big fan of The Mist and The Shawshank Redemption, but as long as this is better than Under the Dome and Sleepwalkers I’ll be just fine.

12) Beyond the Darkness (1979)

beyondthedarknessposter“A young rich orphan loses his fiancée to voodoo doll mischief on the part of his housekeeper who is jealous of his attentions. He digs his girlfriend up, cleans her out, stuffs her, and puts her in bed at the mansion. Following this, he tries out and disposes of a series of young maidens, trying to find the right replacement for her, and the disapproving housekeeper helps him with the disposals.”

As previously mentioned, this is one of the few Joe D’Amato films that has actually received critical acclaim over the years. Much like Anthropophangus, much of the film’s notoriety lies in it’s extreme violence. In fact, its remained banned in Australia for the past 21 years due to its content. Challenge accepted.

13) Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

Cannibal_Apocalypse-1980-Poster“Giovanni Lambardo Radice and John Saxon are Vietman vets that bring back contagious virus that turn people into cannibals when bitten.”

I actually did have this on several weeks ago, but I tuned out the minute I heard the opening theme. It was so incredibly funky that I knew I needed to make a beat out of it. I spent the rest of the film creating the best beat I’ve ever made, at the cost of following the plot itself. All in all, it was totally worth it, but I would like to give it another go.

14) Dust Devil (1992)

dust-devil-movie-poster-1992-1020470855“A woman on the run from her abusive husband encounters a mysterious hitch-hiker.”

This is another film I’ve heard nothing but good things about. The original version of the film ran 120 minutes, which was later trimmed to 110. After that, a 95 minute version was tested, later trimmed to 87 minutes (much to the chagrin of the writer/director). Since then a 105 minute “Final Cut” and 114 minute “Director’s Cut” have surfaced, all making it extremely difficult to decide which version to choose.

15) The Beast Within (1982)

240984-1020-a“In the beginning of the movie you see a woman getting raped by a man-creature of some sort. The movie takes place years later when the child that was a result of that rape is on the rampage looking for a girl to rape to start the process all over again.”

Another favourite of the Scream channel, this film will be receiving a long overdue blu ray release by cult label Scream Factory (no relation to the channel). I’ve never been a huge werewolf fan, but if the transformation scenes are anything like An American Werewolf in London, this may well be worth the wait.

16) All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006/2013)

all-the-boys-love-mandy-lane-2006-poster-2“A group of high-schoolers invite Mandy Lane, a good girl who became quite hot over the summer, to a weekend party on a secluded ranch. While the festivities rage on, the number of revelers begins to drop quite mysteriously.”

Speaking of films being worth the wait, this was originally scheduled for release in 2006 ! It’s just now receiving a theatrical release (despite leaking online years ago). I’ve heard conflicting reviews on its quality, but my expectations are low enough that I may well enjoy myself.

17) REC 2 (2009)

rec2-QUADv4-final_RGB_LORES“The action continues from [Rec], with the medical officer and a SWAT team outfitted with video cameras are sent into the sealed off apartment to control the situation.”

I’m a huge fan of the original REC (possibly the best found footage horror to date) and have been trying to watch this well reviewed follow up for years now. I think both REC 2 and 3 were on last years’ Horrorthon list, but for whatever reason (likely subtitle reading laziness) they were bumped. I feel it’s finally time to get through these, just in time for next years’ REC 4 !

18) REC 3 (2012)

rec3“A couple’s wedding day turns horrific as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness.”

It’s borderline ironic that I’ve not seen this third REC film yet, as I’ll be getting married in June and will now know what to look out for if our guests start murdering each other. In their defense though, it’s more likely to be dessert bar related than demonic possession. Still, can’t be too careful these days …

19) Opera (1987)

Opera“A young opperata is stalked by a deranged fan bent on killing the people associated with her to claim her for himself.”

Our second Argento film is the highly regarded Opera, sometimes known as “Terror at the Opera” (probably to keep from confusing Opera fans who inadvertently rented the wrong tape). I’m a big fan of the iconic cover image and hope the ensuing film lives up to it.

20) Wicked Little Things (2006)

POSTER - WICKED LITTLE THINGS (2)“Karen, Sarah, and Emma Tunney are all moving to a small town in Pennsylvania where, unknown to them, in 1913, a horrid mine accident trapped dozens of children alive, underground. But there’s a problem. They’re still alive.”

The premise of this one always intrigued me, a sort of Night of the Living Dead meets Children of the Corn I suppose. One of the overseas titles for it was simply “Zombies”, so at this point I’m really not sure what to expect.

21) The Kindred (1987)

kindred_poster_01“Amanda’s deathbed request to her son, John, was for him to destroy all the lab notes etc. from her last experiment. She also blurts out he had a brother. At the funeral John meets Melissa, who claims to be his mothers biggest fan. Together with some of John’s friends they go to Amanda’s house, but none are prepared for what they find there.”

From what I can tell, this seems to be a film that relies mostly on creature effects to sell its story. The first film that comes to my mind in that category is the 1982 alien classic “Xtro” (released 4 days after I was born !). If this one comes anywhere close to that level of enjoyment, I’ll be pleased as punch.

22) Midnight (1982)

Midnight“A teenage girl runs away from home because police officer/stepfather puts the moves on her. Hitchhiking to California, she’s picked up by two guys who are also traveling cross-country. Along the way, they decide to camp out in the woods and run across a family of Satanists who keep their dead mother in the attic.”

This one is a bit of an odd duck. From what I can tell, the story has nothing to do with zombies, however, that poster would have you believe otherwise. This likely stems from the fact that its’ writer/director was the co-writer of Night of the Living Dead. Seeking to cash in on any remaining brand recognition seems to have brought on some very misleading marketing tactics. Still, it’s kind of a cool poster.

23) Come Out and Play (2012)

come-out-and-play-hires“A couple take a vacation to a remote island – their last holiday together before they become parents. Soon after their arrival, they notice that no adults seem to be present – an observation that quickly presents a nightmarish reality.”

This one is a remake of the lesser known spanish film “Who Can Kill a Child?”. While its long been known that no american studio would attempt a remake, this mexican made effort was willing to give it a try. From what I’ve heard, it’s essentially a shot for shot remake that pales in comparison to the original. Still, the subject matter is intriguing enough to give it a shot.

24) The Child (1977)

child_1977_poster_01“A newly-hired housekeeper in a remote area is alarmed to discover that her boss’s eleven-year-old daughter is using her supernatural powers to take revenge on the people she holds responsible for her mother’s death, with the aid of her flesh-eating zombie ‘friends’…”

I always think it’s wild when I find out a film like this was made the same year as Star Wars. I mean, the subject matter couldn’t be any different if they tried ! I’ve heard that this is quite an odd film, even more than the synopsis would have you believe. I’m kind of a sucker for lesser known zombie flicks though, so this one got the late add on.

25) The Boneyard (1991)

the_boneyard_german_custom-cdcovers“Children turned into zombies wreak havoc in a coroner’s building with just a burned-out psychic, an experienced cop and two coroners to stop the madness.”

I’m not sure what to think of this one. Apparently it starts strong but has a ridiculous second half, featuring an appearance by Phyllis Diller ! Still, it’s apparently saved by some excellent makeup effects that make the experience much more palatable. Here’s hoping.

26) The Bay (2012)

OR_The Bay 2012 movie Wallpaper 1280x1024“Chaos breaks out in a small Maryland town after an ecological disaster occurs.”

I was definitely thrown off when I heard that the academy award winning director of The Natural, Good Morning Vietnam and Rain Man would be making a found footage horror film. I mean, I guess it’s all the rage now, but it still seemed odd. Reviews were mixed, but the story is an interesting one, and not entirely unrealistic subject matter.

27) The Keep (1983)

aaaaaaa“Nazis are forced to turn to a Jewish historian for help in battling the ancient demon they have inadvertently freed from its prison.”

Speaking of well known directors, I’ve been meaning to watch Michael Mann’s sophmore effort for years now. Another casualty of last years’ list, this year I’m determined to get through it. As cool as the story is, I’ve learned to temper my expectations after years of mixed reviews.

28) The Orphanage (2007)

the-orphanage-poster-800“A woman brings her family back to her childhood home, which used to be an orphanage for handicapped children. Before long, her son starts to communicate with an invisible new friend.”

On the opposite end of the spectrum, this film has received nearly universal acclaim. Produced by Guillermo Del Toro, I’ve had this recommended to me countless times over the years. I’ve tried not to get my hopes up, but it has to at least be better than “Orphan”.

29) We Are What We Are (2010)

“When the patriarch of the family passes away, the teenage children must take responsibility for the family chores: the preparation of the rituals, the hunting and putting the all-important meat on the table. These newfound responsibilities are even more daunting, however, when you live in the city and happen to be a family of cannibals.”

This was recently remade, though I felt it best to watch the original before the american version is released. Supposedly they’re quite different takes on the material, but I still would have been upset had I seen Quarantine before REC.

30) The Innkeepers (2011)

ExclInnkeepersBig“During the final days at the Yankee Pedlar Inn, two employees determined to reveal the hotel’s haunted past begin to experience disturbing events as old guests check in for a stay.”

I’m not really a huge Ti West fan, though he gets a lot of respect for his throwback-style of filmmaking. I tried to love The House of the Devil, but it was a bit too slow moving for my tastes. Here’s hoping West wins me over with this one.

31) Tenebrae (1982)

tenebre_poster_01“An American writer in Rome is stalked by a serial killer bent on harassing him while killing all people associated with his work on his latest book.”

Our third (and final) Argento film is the classic Tenebrae. It was a bit tough to pick and choose which of his films to watch, though I’d already seen Inferno, Suspiria and Deep Red (my personal favourite). I’m not a huge Giallo fan, but I do love a good mystery. Fingers crossed for this one.

002And there you have it ! Another dreadfully delightful list of 31 terror-riffic treats to fill my head with visions of rotting sugarplums and severed limbs and the like. I’ll do my best to update my reviews daily throughout October, but it’s gonna be a bit of an odd Horrorthon this year, just the way I like it !

Till’ next time, smoke em’ if you gut em’ !

– e

The 25 Slays of Christmas – 9 – “Gremlins (1984)”

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0087363/

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoK0BzYUTrU

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Well, here’s the moment where I have to admit that I’ve never seen this movie before. I know, I know, it’s a classic and I must never have had a quality childhood without seeing “Gremlins” when I was a kid. I also didn’t see “The Goonies” for the first time until last year so go to town on that one too. I swear I saw a lot of “classic” films when I was a kid, I just never got around to seeing these ones. I saw “Memphis Belle” like 3 times though, that’s gotta count for something.

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Anyway, by this point you must know the plot to this one by heart. That band Mogwai named themselves after that cute little creature on the poster, who was given as a Christmas gift but with strict rules. Never get him wet or feed him after midnight. Both of these things happen and an army of “gremlins” are unleashed upon the nation. Can they be stopped ?! Where did they come from ? Are they basically just Ewoks in some ways ?

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This one has a lot of talent behind it. Directed by Joe Dante (Piranha, The Howling), Produced by Steven Spielberg (1941, Hook), Written by Chris Columbus (The Goonies, Home Alone), Music by Jerry Goldsmith (Planet of the Apes, The Omen) and Starring Corey Feldman, Phoebe Cates, Judge Reinhold and the voice of Howie Mandel ! As the Mogwai. It’s weird, he’s sort of doing a version of his “Bobby’s World” character.

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Anyway, no doubt I’m gonna catch hell for this, but I didn’t really like this movie very much. I think a lot of it has to do with not seeing it as a kid and therefore having no prior attachment to it before this. I mean, as a big horror fan and a kid that was into comics and sci fi it really seems like I would have seen this at some point. I assume my parents thought it looked too scary (I was only 2 when it came out) and didn’t want my fragile little mind being warped. You know what they say about the best laid plans …

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It’s not that there’s anything “wrong” with the movie, far from it. I think I would have loved this as an 8-10 year old. I really couldn’t shake the similarities between the Gremlins jokey kid-speak and the Ewoks. It was all very cutesy and frankly kind of annoying at times. It’s funny to learn about Howie Mandel voicing Gizmo after the fact, it makes a lot of sense. Suffice it to say, at 30 this movie just doesn’t have the appeal to someone coming in fresh.

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I realize I’m in the minority here but considering the hype and talent involved I found this to be a letdown. That said, my roommate loved it as a kid and watched it with me and his girlfriend. She didn’t like it either and he admitted it wasn’t as good as he’d remembered. Sometimes a movie like this just doesn’t work when you catch it 20 years too late. I loved “Labyrinth” as a kid but never saw “The Dark Crystal” (which many people love). I’m afraid that too would be a case of catching the train two decades too late.

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In the end, I respect all of you who love this movie that you loved as a child, but sadly it just didn’t do it for me. Frankly “The Goonies” was better, just saying.

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