October Horrorthon 2012 – 22 – “The Horde”

Aka – La Horde

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY4ui929TiE

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I’ve been hearing a lot of hype about this one for awhile now. Zombie flicks have been pretty done to death at this point (no pun intended) but there have been some recent gems that continue to give me hope (The Dead, Dawn of the Dead remake, The Walking Dead series). Having enjoyed a few recent French horror films as well (Inside, Martyrs, High Tension (until the ending)) I was looking forward to this one.

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The plot concerns some rogue police officers who are out to avenge the death of one of their own. They bust into a highrise run by local gangsters and are quickly taken out. As the villains decide what to do next, a zombie busts in and devours one of them. After punching, kicking and shooting him, they finally go for the headshot, bringing him down. As the group realizes there is a (cough) horde of the undead outside, they band together to try to escape with their lives.

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The cast does a pretty good job for the kind of movie that it is. Lots of yelling, overreacting, screaming, punching, shooting, screaming, etc. I decided to watch the dubbed version because it was late and I was feeling lazy. On the plus side the voices weren’t too irritating, but some of the characters actions sure were.

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And therein lies my issue with this movie. Granted, it’s extremely stylish, well shot, ambitious, good story, etcetera. Unfortunately the overly stupid actions of the characters left me completely unsympathetic to them. I was basically rooting for the zombies by the end of it actually. Not that it was easy to choose between the murderers or the cops (aka – justifiable murderers) but still.

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The biggest cardinal sin of the movie is the fact that after emptying 40 rounds into the first zombie they manage to bring him down with a headshot. Great ! Like most characters in zombie flicks you’re just waiting for them to realize that this is the way to finally kill them. Except they don’t go for a headshot again for the rest of the movie !!! Really ?! Come on !! No no, you have unlimited ammo ! Keep firing at their chests ! It worked before right ? No wait, it was a fucking headshot that worked you morons ! You’re cops ! Ever tried a headshot ?! Good lord !!

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If that weren’t irritating enough, okay, I’m about to head into potential spoiler territory here. Okay, so the group finally makes it down to the basement, but then they realize they need to get to the parking garage. The Tom Savini-looking main guy tells them he’ll stay behind to “hold off” the zombie horde while they escape. Really ?! You have plenty of time to leave WITH them !! Why the fuck are you committing suicide for NO reason ?! Oh well, at least he’ll go for headshots ! Wait, no !! He has 2 pistols and just fires into the zombie crowd till they swarm him !! Sweet plan bud !

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I realize that during times of crisis people probably don’t make the most rational choices, but half of these people are already murderous assholes, the other half are murderous rogue cops. The characters are already fairly unlikable, now they’re also ignoring the only thing that actually killed a zombie in the first place ? Fuck !!

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Anyway, it’s not a “bad” movie, and maybe the subtitled version is somehow kind of a bit better in a way. That said, there are far too many retarded decisions by these people, to the point that I wanted them all dead by the end anyway. I’m sorry, but I can’t overlook completely ignoring headshots after it was the only way to kill them off. That’s just bullshit stupidity at that point.

Anyway, it looks nice, starts well, angers greatly and fizzles out. Still, not the worst zombie flick I’ve seen. Not sure what is actually. Maybe “House of the Dead”. Yikes

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