October Horrorthon 2012 – 8 – “Evil Aliens”




“Evil Aliens” is a film that I’ve heard a fair bit about over the past few years. From high school on I would always try to find the goriest movies to watch, excitedly tracking them down as I discovered them. I ended up watching a lot of crap that way, and the older I got the more I realized that if the story sucked the gore didn’t really matter. I mean, how many times can you see someone’s guts being pulled out before you’re bored to tears ? Several years worth it would seem.


I’d seen the cover for this when it came out several years ago. I’d heard it was super gory and over the top, but also a comedy (of the “Splatstick” genre, which is apparently a thing). I kept getting this confused with another comedy, “Evil Alien Conquerers” (http://youtu.be/GO-6Q0OvwDA) starring perennial second banana Chris Parnell and looking … Just awful. “Evil Aliens” HAD to be better than that, right ?


Well, having watched a few clips from “Evil Alien Conquerers”, I’m willing to assume that “Evil Aliens” is the better movie, though not by much. And EAC seems to have a pretty good cult following, but then again, so does “Little Nicky”, “Death to Smoochy” and “Freddy Got Fingerered”, so …. There’s that.


The plot (such as it is) revolves around a “reality tv” show about UFO’s, monsters, etc. The ratings are bad and the show will be cancelled if they don’t come up with a big story soon. Luckily a girl claims to have been abducted and implanted with an alien seed while watching her boyfriend being viciously anally probed (in the first 5 minutes. Uh … Funny stuff ?). The crew goes to interview her and quickly end up fighting for their lives against the … evil aliens.


I’m not gonna lie, this movie kind of sucks. It’s gory as hell for sure, but the acting is pretty bad, the comedy isn’t funny and after awhile I just wanted it to end. The aliens look pretty cool, but everyone was irritating, and I’m just not at the point where tons of gore is enough to get me through a movie anymore.

I know it’s shocking that a movie from the writer/director of “Pumpkinhead 3” might not be great, but as much as I love the British, this one was a real trial. I was supposed to watch Rec 2 and 3 originally but I ran out of time. All I can think of is how much better those would have been than this idiotic gorefest.

Save your to time, money and brain cells kids, it just ain’t worth it.



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